fuck st. john.

i cracked.
i realised everything.
i realised everything will stay the same.
i will still be treated like crap.

i lost all interest in it.
i try so hard.
but who cares?
no one bothers to remember their appointments with me.
no one respects me.
no one likes me.
no one cares about me.

i'm not stupid.
i always know.
that even as a comp team instr.
they'll doubt my capabilites and experience.
so fuck it.
i'll just leave then.

it's going to be a lonely journey.
and i am not ready to take it up.

if you want to talk anything about sjab with me ever again.
kill that little thought.